During my pregnancy, one gift we received was a Chicken Soup for the Expectant Parent's Soul - or something like that. There are so many of those books. It's unreal. Chicken Soup for the Prisoner's Soul, Nascar Fan's Soul, Teenager's Soul. I would not be surprised to see one for the Emo Kid's Soul.
On first glance, I winced inside. But I read the damn thing. Cover to cover.
OK, maybe pregnant women can relate here. When pregnant and even a couple of weeks post-partum, I would cry over the simplest things. I had a hard time getting socks and shoes on those last few weeks - I cried about that once. A commercial about spaghetti sauce would make me cry. It was so annoying to the normally giggly, sick and twisted me.
Chicken Soup left me a blubbering mess.
Here's my own version of Chicken Soup. Babies soften you on the insides.
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My mom died of cancer in 2002. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and wish that she were still here. It was bittersweet to go through the pregnancy and the birth of Molly without her. I wish I could have shared that with her.
The two things that I miss the most about her: her laugh and her hugs. She had such a great sense of humor and above all, she gave great hugs. We were always very affectionate with each other. I lamented countless times after her passing that I would never feel that particular, special warmth and connection that I felt when we hugged. It was always like our hearts plugged in to each other.
Molly was born in June of 2007 and she is truly amazing. I never get tired of just looking at her. I take in every little sound and smile like it was the first one. I love snuggling her close and having her hold on to my shirt or hair (ouch) and sometimes she buries her face against me for a second, as if she enjoys the closeness.
It occurred to me one day that the way that I feel when I hold her close to me is exactly the way I felt when my mother would hug me.
Molly has given me back my mother's hug.
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